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sarah's avatar

finally finally, the truth is out there. So sick of the lies about victims and the posts that say we are just weak people. They refused to remove him unless I had an order of protection. The courts refuse to give you an OP unless you are brutalized, I lost my entire church family, it stinks

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Andrea Aleksandrova's avatar

Yes, I know. It really does stink, and I am so sorry this happened to you. I dream of building genuine, safe community for survivors. 💔 It is so needed!

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Agnieska's avatar

I am an erased mom of six. My abuser holds a position of power within the church with that huge pedophile problem. I wrote to my bishop outlining and documenting the abuse of me (haven’t seen my 6 kids in 7 years and am broke and was homeless) and my children by the cfo in 2020. He told me to ask Catholic charities for help. I am a college graduate, former professional, who now has PTSD (the trauma/abuse is ongoing every second of every day that I can’t hug or talk to my kids.) and was recently homeless and is deemed disabled as a result of the ongoing abuse For a church that values motherhood and the sanctity of life, it hurts doubly that this man is allowed to abuse unfettered.

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Andrea Aleksandrova's avatar

Yes. It is intolerable. That the church allows it to continue and the legal system allows it to continue. I am so sorry this is happening to you. Churches (and everyone else) also have to develop an understanding that abuse doesn't end when a victim leaves. It continues, often for years. Abusers must be stopped. Period. As long as churches and systems continue propping up abusive men, they are just another abusive system that leaves a trail of victims behind.

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Barbara Roberts's avatar

Oh Agneiska, that’s awful!

I really appreciate your phrase “an erased mum”. Brilliant way of putting it!

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Barbara Roberts's avatar

This article is superb, Andrea! Thank you so much for writing it.

I'll be publicising your article tomorrow. I will be urging all my readers at cryingoutforjustice.blog to read your article and subscribe to your SubStack.

You are 100% correct in saying that churches must evaluate the entrapment barriers they create and perpetuate that keep victims entrapped in abuse.

The outdated advice being purveyed by many of the so-called 'christian advocates' is doing such harm to victims of abuse. It's appalling that many of those 'christian advocates' are not willing to learn and course correct. I think they are more enamoured with building their own platforms than with speaking truths that will truly help victims to be safe.

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Andrea Aleksandrova's avatar

Thank you, Barb, and I agree with you!

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Alison Devon's avatar

Excellent article. Thank you!

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